Life as a Beta male
and how you fit in the social hierarchy.

beta male definition

A beta male is a man who avoids conflict even in the form of thinking he will let someone down and tends to assume a passive and subservient role in society, making him easy to manipulate, oppress, and a target for bullying.

what is a beta male?

A Beta male is one of the seven male personality types in the male social hierarchy and ranks on the third bar from the top below the Sigma, Alpha, and Zeta male personality types.

Although Beta males rank high on the male social hierarchy, they are considered weak, subservient individuals who are used and abused easily by others in society and social circles.

male social hierarchy picture

At the end of this article, we have a link to the social hierarchy so that you can see how this works or you can read more about the social Hierarchy by clicking here.

life as a beta male

If you are a Beta male, life for you will be mentally and emotionally draining.
This is because as a Beta male you will try to avoid any form of confrontation, and you will tend to be a typical ‘Yes-man’ to anyone who has a wish to get something or get something done.

This weak Beta male character trait makes you an easy target for manipulation and bullying.

Low ranking feelings of guilt, such as feeling guilty of the possibility that you may let someone down if you say no to a request or wish, will make you, the Beta male, prone to over-commit and be subservient to others.

Mentally, as a Beta male, you will know you are overcommitted and cannot possibly take on more tasks or even commitments.
But because of your subservient character trait, typical of a Beta male, you will continue to commit to tasks, providing gifts and serving the wishes of anyone who dares to ask for something.

Leonard from Big Bang Theory Beta male example

Leonard from Big Bang Theory is the best Beta male example displaying Beta male traits.

as a beta male you may experience this in your life?

As a Beta male, you will feel mentally tired due to the overload of being overcommitted.

Because of the Beta male character trait of being subservient, you will also:


  • Feel and know you have overcommitted yourself to serve the needs and wishes of others.
  • Feel you only serve the life and demands of others while your own life is passing by.
  • Feel afraid you will let others down.
  • Feel you need to do more to win others over and win their approval.
  • Feel weak amongst other men.
  • Feel that women are above you, and you are subservient to their needs and wants.
  • You may have a constant feeling of being afraid that you may get into trouble, and trouble will find you eventually.
  • Feel weak and like a fraud, and it is only a matter of time before others point it out.
  • You constantly ask the question: “Is this all there is or is there more to life.”
  • Have a gut feeling that something needs to change.

as a beta male,
what you desire the most

Because Beta males spend their days trying to avoid conflict, the fear of conflict will be the most intense emotion or thought that you carry in your mind every single day of your life. As a Beta male, your biggest desire would be to know that there is no possibility that you will ever have to face confrontation again.

beta male traits

If you display or have any of the following traits, you may be a Beta male.

  • Put the needs of others before your own.
  • Overcommit, but most things you commit to will be things that will serve others.
  • People pleaser.
  • A typical ‘Yes’ man – find it hard to say no to others.
  • See others as being above you.
  • Confidence on your own but amongst others have low self-esteem.
  • Feel you can save others from a life, less fortunate.
  • Think others need you to be happy, and without you, they will be worse off.
  • Will avoid letting others down.
  • Put women on a pedestal and are subservient to them.
another perfect example of a Beta male chandler bing from friends

Chandler Bing from Friends are another good example of someone displaying Beta male traits.

positive character traits of beta males.

Here are some Beta male traits that may make you more likeable to others:


  • Put the needs of others before your own, which can be a positive character trait for a Beta male but where it counts against you is that you never put yourself first.
  • Very likable personality.
  • Know how to make other feel welcomed and worthy.

negative character traits of beta males.

Here is some Beta male traits that may make others try and avoid you or may negatively affect the quality of your life:

  • You come across as too much to handle – overly friendly.
  • You tend to put the needs of others before yours to the point where you have no time to grow your own life.
  • You are too soft. It leads you to be used and manipulated by others taking your good heart for granted.
  • You are overcommitted, so you will find it hard to make time for new people.
  • You are a slave to the dreams and demands of others, making you emotionally weak and vulnerable.
  • Attach too much meaning to any kind word that comes your way.

what do women think of you as beta male

 Women in general love to have Beta males around because of the weak beta male character trait, the fear of confrontation.

From watching how men and women interact, women know how to get what they want through emotional blackmail and manipulation. We are not saying that all women are manipulative but put a weak Beta male in their environment, and you will soon see how the Beta male is taken advantage of.

You can compare women who do look at Beta males as life partners to the praying mantis female who will only use the male for mating purposes, and after that, he will have no further use. The only exception is that she will not kill you. You will just keep meeting her every need for the rest of your life without being respected.

As a Beta male, you will spend the rest of your life with your life partner, too scared to do your own thing, and that includes pursuing your passions or anything else you enjoyed. All of the finances you earn will be used for the family, decorating the house and the essentials for daily living without having anything to buy the gadgets we as men love.
As a Beta male you will become subservient to your partner.

Other women who do not choose a Beta male as a life partner will also keep you around, but only as a friend. They will most likely manipulate you to do small chores for them and take them on the occasional date, where she will use you as a wingman to get a man with a bit more ambition and testosterone in his blood.

You will always feel like a third wheel or a toy for women, and not in a good sense.

what do your friends think of you as a beta male?

For the most part, your friends think you are weak and need to grow a backbone. They will not know that you are a Beta male, and all they will see is your week Beta male traits making you a doormat for anyone who wants to abuse your good-natured soul. Little do they know that the only reason you appear to do good is because of your fear of confrontation and letting people down.

Because you will constantly whine and complain that you are working two jobs and still have no money to buy the things you want, they will wish you grew a backbone and start taking a stand. Instead of empathy, they will think you are weak, and their biggest wish will be to take you by the shoulders and shake you until you wake up to what is happening around you, and that is being manipulated and used.

Even you will start getting tired of your whining, and deep down in your gut, you will know your friends see you as weak and laugh behind your back because of your weak Beta male trait.

what do your colleagues and boss think of you as a beta male

As a Beta male, your chances of being promoted are very slim. Managers, including your boss, will see that you are being taken advantage of by your colleagues and that the level of respect you earn is low. This will make it difficult to promote you but, as a Beta male, you are an asset to the company.

What makes you an asset is your fear of confrontation. Because you fear confrontation they will know that they can ask you anything and you will get it done, even after hours in your own time, just to ensure you avoid confrontation.

Your colleagues will also tend to give you the jobs they do not feel like doing and know there is no way your boss will ever find out because you will never take the credit.

You will also tend to compliment and give credit for work well done to others, even if you were the one who did all the work. Weaker members than you, who are on the team, will be lifted up by your compliments and eventually overtake you. And yet you will fail to recognize that it is a form of manipulation to do less work and still get the credit by those weaker than you.

how to stop being a beta male
and evolve into a sigma male

Even though you are ranking on the top three bars of the social hierarchy for men, your Beta male traits are making you weak in the eyes of those who surround you in your daily life.

To be able to grow your life, finances and career opportunities and also to be able to live a more fulfilling life, you will need to evolve and focus on growing as an individual so that you can rank higher in the eyes of those you have contact with. If you don’t you will live an unfulfilling life and eventually suffer from burnout because of your tendency to over commit.

Our best advice on how to stop being a Beta male is:

  • Learn to say no.
  • Learn to identify the users in your life and start cutting them out of your life.
  • Learn to value yourself as a person as well.
  • Learn that saying no does not always lead to confrontation and others will respect you more, knowing the reason you said no is because you also have things that is important to you.

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